Miss Manners: I was attacked online, and my wife’s family refused to take my side

DEAR MISS MANNERS Specific time ago one of my wife s nephews a grown man in his s came across an opinion I had written in a digital publication Related Articles Miss Manners Should I cancel the dinner because of my friend s unwelcome companion Miss Manners Was the bride s note weird or insulting or both Miss Manners The bride screwed up What can she say to smooth things over Miss Manners They say I look like this actress and I don t think it s a compliment Miss Manners Can I tell the other organization s snarky soccer parents to sit somewhere else He didn t like it so he insulted me in the masses commentary section I shrugged it off The next day he went hunting online for another opinion of mine he didn t like and insulted me again so that all my family and friends could read it He was beyond vile It took me a good minutes to thoroughly construct a strong reply I did not lower myself to his deranged level keeping in mind that he was still my wife s nephew I longed all those who saw the insult to also see my defense However when I tried to post my response I couldn t because he had deleted the insult minutes after posting it He later admitted his mom had advised him to delete it I had a screenshot of the whole interaction before it disappeared and I posted it with links for his entire family to see I embarrassed him He did not apologize His mother unfriended me publicly Specific family members criticized me with indirect comments Everyone else stayed silent which hurt me more than the cowardly indirect comments No one stood up for me defended me or even mentioned they were sorry for the uncalled-for insults That revealed me I m not part of this family I m not blood I am just the in-law they can t stand That s fine with me I can t expect the whole world to like me I ended my relationships with all of them No more time or money from me for holidays weddings baptisms or funerals across the country with my wife I m done with them My wife is hurt but understands I was the one done wrong I m curious about your thoughts on the matter GENTLE READER It is not Miss Manners habit to rank whose behavior was worse But if she were to prioritize who appears majority deserving of sympathy from greatest to least she would start with your wife your sister-in-law the other relatives then yourself and lastly the nephew Etiquette generally seeks to repair damage such as that done by your nephew But depending on the specifics of what he declared that may never have been manageable Emerging up the family may have been the only likely outcome Nevertheless you did lower yourself when you reposted the nephew s comment after it was removed and then went on a campaign of citizens humiliation You were wronged but once you piled wrong upon wrong you put everyone else in an impossible situation Related Articles Dear Abby Our son s girlfriend saw my wife s text and now she won t speak to us Asking Eric I got only K from my dad s estate Then I heard about my sister s spending spree Harriette Cole My roommate just laughs at me when I bring up sponge baths Miss Manners Should I cancel the dinner because of my friend s unwelcome companion Dear Abby After the gaslighting he wants me to trust him again DEAR MISS MANNERS How do I politely and firmly convey to an interested party that I merely want to discuss business and am not interested in meeting for coffee or any other alone time that could be construed as romantic I feel that an abrupt I do not drink coffee but I will see you at the next official function would not sufficiently discourage the interested party from inquiring further GENTLE READER Perhaps not But repetition will Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website www missmanners com to her email gentlereader missmanners com or through postal mail to Miss Manners Andrews McMeel Syndication Walnut St Kansas City MO