Miss Manners: I’m desperate to remain her friend but … 4 hours of improv?

DEAR MISS MANNERS I have autism which makes it intricate to understand social situations especially within close friendships I also tend to be a people-pleaser Related Articles Miss Manners I got his emotional text by mistake Do I tell him Miss Manners I think I m in trouble with my boss over the business dinner Miss Manners The strangers in my yard seem incredulous when I yell at them Miss Manners The wedding planner explained I couldn t sit with my partner Miss Manners Why do young people have to ruin photos this way My best friend and I met in high school the day I moved to a new state and we have now been friends for years I was the maid of honor at her wedding I have stuck with her through the hard times she experienced along with the happy times and specific dark depressing times She is one of my favorite people to be around However she has done specific really wacky hare-brained things that have led to arguments She once volunteered me to help move a stranger s things into their home she s put me through a lot of four-hour improv shows that she was in which were extremely inappropriate and in poor taste she brings up people from my past who have hurt me terribly and now she wants me to go to her speech contests which are also four hours long I feel guilty for saying no I informed her that I have things I need to get done and that I can only stay for the part when she is speaking I am desperate to keep this friendship However I am reaching my latest point It hurts I love her She is like my sister GENTLE READER No living human should be subjected to four hours of improv Miss Manners notices that you mention your guilt for saying no to this but not your friend s reaction You may be surprised by her acceptance of these boundaries even if it does not seem probable at first It is certainly hard to push back but for the sake of the friendship you must Resentment is a much stronger relationship-killer than conflict Almost as strong as those interminable performances DEAR MISS MANNERS I have appealed my friends to help me swap an engine on my pickup truck and they have generously agreed Mechanic etiquette says that if your friends are helping you on a car project you provide drinks while they work A worker is worthy of their wages However I am unsure how various beers I should give them for their assistance Related Articles Dear Abby My husband mumbles and then blames me but my hearing is fine Asking Eric I come back from a run and he s eating fries Is there hope for us Harriette Cole Should I tell her mom what this -year-old girl posted Miss Manners I got his emotional text by mistake Do I tell him Dear Abby I booted her from my house because of her anti-male hate speech If my friends are helping me replace my engine over the module of an evening should I get a six-pack or a dozen beers for each of them I have heard of splitting a -pack but I don t believe we are alcoholic enough to manage that While I want to be generous I also don t want to inebriate them and possibly cause injury or sloppy work Other than perhaps asking if they want a nonalcoholic option what do you think is a proper number of drinks to provide GENTLE READER How about you save the alcoholic drinks until after the work is completed Because Miss Manners shares your fear that a -pack of beer may render your workers quite unworthy of their wages And leave you with a wrecked engine to boot Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website www missmanners com to her email gentlereader missmanners com or through postal mail to Miss Manners Andrews McMeel Syndication Walnut St Kansas City MO