Miss Manners: Can I, as the host, abandon the rowdy drinkers?

DEAR MISS MANNERS I am a teetotaler My husband and bulk of our friends are avid connoisseurs of wine and spirits Related Articles Miss Manners She won t shut up about how privileged she is and I dread talking to her Miss Manners We were yelled at in a Paris opera house Were we in the wrong Miss Manners Another mother chided me for group-texting a cute photo Was I wrong Miss Manners Can a guest reprimand a dog in its own house Miss Manners Her joke about dodging the check turned out not so funny Normally this is not a challenge as I can politely excuse myself from any events that are primarily about appreciating alcohol But an etiquette issue sometimes arises when we re hosting dinner at our place The first couple of hours generally go well with good conversation and enjoyment of food and company At particular point however the gathering evolves from a dinner party into a drinking session By this I mean that after the meal is over the guests continue to sit around the table drinking their cups refilled by my husband Eventually the conversation becomes more animated than I can keep up with as voices get a bit louder and arguments a little muddled This can continue for a limited hours Everyone is having a good time no one has to drive themselves home and I am happy for my guests to enjoy themselves I don t want to put a stop to the fun even though it has left me behind But what I would like to do is excuse myself from the table when this happens and get started on my dishes Is there a graceful way to accomplish this without implying that the party is over GENTLE READER Curiously the alcohol is clouding everyone s judgment in this situation even yours and you are not partaking As a host you cannot properly leave your own party even though Miss Manners understands both that it has become a bore for you and that the guests are unlikely to notice your absence The response is to manage the time as well as the quantity of alcohol consumed After all you did not keep serving the pot roast until the guests begged for mercy So at several point stop pouring wine and offer coffee instead Even if your guests are not grateful in the moment they will be so the next morning DEAR MISS MANNERS My husband s cousin and her husband live a scant miles away from us While their parents were fairly close when the cousins were growing up the cousins themselves didn t maintain contact once they became adults I enjoy sending greeting cards for birthdays anniversaries holidays and so on and this cousin is on my list We re also friends on social media She messages me and suggests that we get together for lunch sometime but offers no specific details I then propose a date time and place which she agrees to but invariably cancels on the day of the meeting Related Articles Dear Abby How do I keep a houseguest from crawling into my bed Asking Eric What do I do with what my teen described me about her mother Harriette Cole Out of nowhere my neighbor set the conversation on an unpleasant path Miss Manners She won t shut up about how favored she is and I dread talking to her Dear Abby He knows it s shady but he won t stop ogling young women I ve come to expect this and don t think much of it but it upsets my husband Should I continue making suggestions even though I know they will likely be canceled at the last minute GENTLE READER Next time the cousin proposes a get-together give an equally vague response That would be great Urgent the pattern may or may not change her behavior but it will give everyone something new to think about Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website www missmanners com to her email gentlereader missmanners com or through postal mail to Miss Manners Andrews McMeel Syndication Walnut St Kansas City MO