Harriette Cole: My friend is now my neighbor, but something has gone wrong

DEAR HARRIETTE Back in February I moved to a new neighborhood that s far from where a lot of my friends live I spent a lot of time alone making my house a home Related Articles Harriette Cole I think these women at the gym were mocking me Harriette Cole When my mother prayed aloud for my wife s cold heart we walked out What now Harriette Cole Did I make a mistake with the men at the bar Harriette Cole My teen s sports season was ruined and I don t know how to help her Harriette Cole This woman didn t belong in our VIP area Why wouldn t anyone kick her out In May a friend from another state moved here and she lives about minutes away from me When I heard the news I felt such ecstasy and relief but since she s been here we haven t hung out much despite my invitations She seems busy with work and with her own personal life I ve seen her make time to hang with certain of our mutual friends but for various reason she hasn t extended an invite to me I tried to address it but she noted she didn t think I d be interested I don t like that she made that decision for me on more than one occasion I might add I m trying to avoid focusing on the feelings of being left out and just put my power into finding methods to take care of myself even if that means doing so alone How do I combat these feelings of loneliness and turn them into self-care or me-time that I can enjoy Lonely DEAR LONELY Research neighboring towns that may be more social than where you live Find out what sessions are going on there in the evenings and on weekends Sign up for classes Go to the theater Put yourself in environments with other people so that you can meet prospective new friends Do not dwell on your former friends and associates who are not including you in their lives Build your own life anew The key is putting yourself out there It will not work if you stay at home by yourself DEAR HARRIETTE I am currently in the middle of a career pivot For a great number of years I worked in corporate offices behind the scenes in operations I still do that now in a more creative industry In this role I get to show my personal interests style and creative capabilities a lot more As a outcome a lot of people have been telling me that I should step away from being behind the scenes and start putting myself out there I ve invariably been in a supportive role and I worry that I m not ready to come out of my shell In the same breath I know I have great likely and I m only delaying my enhancement by allowing fear to guide me Related Articles Dear Abby My new husband gives me a month It s not enough Jill On Money Shutdown-o-nomics Asking Eric It was my dream to move here Now how do I convince my husband we should go back Harriette Cole I think these women at the gym were mocking me Miss Manners They get snippy if I don t give them likes on every little thing Do you have any advice for someone trying to step out of their comfort zone professionally or establish their voice in a creative industry Comfort Zone DEAR COMFORT ZONE A large number of people take inhabitants speaking or improv courses or even sing sober karaoke to get them to break out of their comfort zone You might want to enroll in Toastmasters an organization that teaches confidence-building and articulation The point is to engage in solutions that will help you push past your insecurities Arrangement with the creative people at your company Find out what kinds of projects they might need help with and offer your services Go for it Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams You can send questions to askharriette harriettecole com or c o Andrews McMeel Syndication Walnut St Kansas City MO