Former TV news reporter Stacia Kalinoski details her experience with epilepsy in new memoir

I detected myself speedily turning each page as I read through Stacia Kalinoski s memoir about her life with epilepsy Racing Uphill disclosed July by the University of Minnesota Press The former athlete and marathon runner and TV news reporter documents her story with vivid detail and an engaging narrative voice In Kalinoski was terminated from her job at a news station in Michigan after experiencing a seizure She had been having seizures since college but had maintained a prosperous career in television journalism holding roles at three different stations in different states Her boss cited your behavior as the reason for her termination and used the phrase psychotic episode to describe the situation Kalinoski writes in the book This devastating professional setback marked a major turning point in Kalinoski s life She moved back home to Minnesota to focus on her recovery with a new therapeutic gang and ultimately she was approved for brain surgery Her documentary about the experience Brainstorm premiered on TPT in and went on to win awards from the Impact DOCS Awards and Docs Without Borders Film Festival The film was also a nominee for the Upper Midwest Emmy Awards Now an epilepsy awareness advocate and motivational speaker Kalinoski expands on that story in this moving book With a background in journalism Kalinoski handily writes about the science behind her malady and her therapy journey with a clear and accessible style She also has a knack for letting the reader into what was going on with her psychologically physically and emotionally during her journey There s a touch of a sports writing style that shows in the text especially in the beginning of the book when Kalinoski writes about growing up in Thief River Falls and falling in love with sports like running and tennis Early on she reveals herself to be highly competitive something that continues as she pursues a career in journalism and begins running marathons To write the book Kalinoski interviewed family friends and former co-workers She also researched documents from her own work and robustness history She had to rely on those methods in several cases because she entirely didn t remember certain events from her past She describes painfully how certain days and even whole periods are erased from her memory There were moments reading the book where I felt incensed on the author s behalf like when her insurance refused to pay for a needed medication or when an ignorant person at her gym declared she must have multiple personality disorder after he witnessed her having a seizure She also writes about an event covered by MinnPost s Public Voices where a revered Minneapolis sports columnist wrote a piece criticizing the Minnesota Gophers for hiring and not firing its head coach Jerry Kill I felt so angry when I read about Kalinoski s termination especially after her job had made accommodations for her illness Kalinoski offers sparse details about the prompting event which she doesn t remember We only learn that one day Kalinoski experienced multiple seizures at work and at one point physically touched someone She was stated she acted inappropriately Later she cuts up the termination letter with scissors and sets it afire behind her house I also felt frustrated at Kalinoski herself when I read her writing about her own denial of her infection and poor victim behavior like not taking the right amount of medication ignoring effects or pretending everything was normal when it wasn t Her writing took me right along with her through these moments and in her growing awareness that she wasn t going to be able to face her infection alone It takes a lot of bravery to shine a critical eye at one s own stubbornness and the author shares these moments with raw honesty As the book progresses she begins to recognize the approaches that she s hiding from the stigma of her disorder and slowly begins to face the challenge head-on I detected myself crying in moments where the people around her exhibited her true caring even if she wasn t able to recognize it at the time One co-worker reached out to the author s mom over email a move that at first infuriated Kalinoski though it spurred her family into action and resulted in her getting more patronage Kindness from family members co-workers and even random passersby gave me hope that there are truly good people in this world I really didn t know much about epilepsy going into reading this book I ve witnessed a different kind of seizure first-hand and it was one of the greater part terrifying moments of my life but I really didn t have a grasp of the a great number of different types of reactions someone with epilepsy can face Kalinoski details the wide range of avenues epilepsy impacted her from the feeling of d j vu to its opposite experience jamais vu suddenly not knowing one s surroundings to periods of exclusively blanking out and staring into space She also writes about larger events like a tonic clonic with its violent involuntary muscle contractions and loss of consciousness I exposed her writing about the surgery she had very illuminating especially in the pages leading up to it where her doctors were working to pinpoint exactly where her seizures were originating and what path they were taking They needed to know the answers to those questions exactly in order to determine if she was the right fit for surgery and which kind of procedure would be the most of appropriate This is a compelling memoir an inside view of what it s like to live with a widely misunderstood neurological condition In sharing her journey Kalinoski offers a perspective that could help readers gain not only a deeper understanding of epilepsy but also a broader sense of how to treat people with disabilities with empathy awareness and respect Find Racing Uphill Confronting a Life with Epilepsy here or at your local bookstore Editor s note An earlier version had the incorrect title of the book The story has been 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